Church Lecture

“Uh, okay, so here’s the thing.  I, uh, think I have a ghost or a demon thing in my apartment.  And, I- uh, don’t know what to do about it.” Chloe stammered.  She tried to hold his eye contact but broke as soon as she reached the word ‘demon’.  Another silence settled over the office.  Jessica stared at the wall. 

“Well, aren’t you going to say something?” Jessica finally asked.  He scratched his head and stood up.

“Well, I think that’s a great story.  And I’m sorry that I allowed myself to give my precious time to ladies who think that church is a game.  Now if you’ll excuse me,” he snapped.  At this Chloe jumped up which startled everyone in the room. 

“No, listen please!  There’s something in my apartment.  It’s…it’s evil I think.  Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s evil.  It’s making me crazy!  I can’t sleep.  The growling, the noise, please, you have to believe me.”   She held his eyes this time as she tried to plead her case.  He glanced at Jessica and saw that she hadn’t moved.  He straightened up again. 

“Look, I’m sure you think that it’s a demon, but you have to realize that demons don’t bother people.  That’s Hollywood.  Now, if you’d like I can give you the number-”

“Wait, just so we’re clear, God exists but demons don’t.  That doesn’t make any sense.  You can’t have one without the other.” Jessica cut in.  She was now glaring at him.  And since when did I start believing about this crap?  He nodded and slowly sat down, she continued, “we’re not crazy.  Not fanatics.  We aren’t cool enough be psychic and see the future.  Chloe has tried the psychic thing and it didn’t work too well.  All we need is some spiritual help.  Chloe is the victim here.  I didn’t believe her at first either, but it’s very real.  And it’s very evil.  So please, can you help her?” Jessica said.  Her voice became flat and serious.  Chloe refused to believe that this man who claimed to be a speaker for a creator could refuse them.  She watched and marveled how Jessica could snap and make demands of people without her voice shaking.  Jessica and the Pastor continued to exchange fearsome looks and violent glances.  He finally sighed and motioned Jessica to relax.  Chloe smiled.  Jessica had won. 

“Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.  What’s your name?” he offered as he stood up and turned on a small coffee pot in the corner of the room. 

“Chloe.  Chloe Summers.  This is Jessica.  So, where do we begin?”  She saw him shrug as he leaned against an overcrowded bookshelf.

“Like I said…nah, never mind…the truth of the matter is, I don’t know.  You know the type of publicity that is always comes with, uh, events like this.”  He said as he waited for the coffee to brew.  Jessica and Chloe exchanged looks; Jessica rolled her eyes and Chloe’s shoulders slumped.  She closed her eyes and massaged her temples, “wait, so you’re telling me you’re not going to help me or even try to help because of the bad PR?”  Her eyes bored into his as she asked the question.

“Listen, if you keep this quiet…then maybe I can come by with a friend and take a look for ourselves.  But I have to know, you’re serious?  I’m going to open the door to and see Ashton Kutcher there am I?”

“No.  Hell no, that’s a dumb show.  Is that even still on?” Jessica said as she crossed and uncrossed her legs.  The three shared an uneasy laugh and he poured some of the coffee.

“What church are you affiliated with?  Why didn’t you go to them?” he asked as he sat back down behind his desk.  Both girls began to play with their purses as he asked the question.

“That’s what I thought.  No wonder you have demons.  A little faith goes a long way you know.  You think you can just pop by a church and pick up a crucifix and that will fix everything?” He lectured.  Chloe sighed again and met his gaze. 

“Yes and no.  I was raised Catholic.  I’ve been baptized and everything.  I used to go to St. Mary’s and to be honest, I don’t know why we didn’t go there first.  But- but I’ve kinda been having a spiritual crisis for a couple years now because I don’t know what to believe.”  She opened up to him about her doubts and questions and what happens when one begins to read too many books. 

                Chloe graduated high school with top grades and felt as though she had the world at her feet, so naturally like millions of other teens with a complex of self-satisfaction and un-earned sense of accomplishment, she went to college.  She wanted to be a doctor.  She wanted to save people, to solve the problems that no one else could.  One of the beauties of the American education system is the ability to choose.  This was the land of opportunity after all- so what was the harm in taking a few classes that would open her mind to other cultures?  Chloe took a class called Christian Traditions and realized to her shock and dismay that the religion that had grown up with wasn’t what she thought it was.  Sunday School had taught her that idol worship was forbidden, and yet in Orthodox Christianity idols were everywhere.  Yet here was an entire branch of Christianity flourishing in the eastern part of the world that she didn’t know anything about.  They had alters and prayed to various saints, just like the Roman Catholic church did, and at the same time they were frowned at.  For most of her young life she had been taught that she would burn in hell’s fire for swearing, for drinking and for not trying to pass along the good word.  Imagine her shock to discover that the Catholic Church had actually taken out chapters of the Bible just because they didn’t have time to finish the final publication.  Her spiral continued when she began researching Buddhism and began to feel comfortable with their beliefs.  The idea of praying to a statue didn’t appeal to her, what appealed to her was the idea that all energy was transferable and peace was found within the person, not a temple or a building. 

The path of Buddhism took her to a pit stop called Wicca and finally landed her back at Agnostic Christianity.  Her curiosity led her further East and further from her roots.  One day she found herself browsing through the spiritual enlightenment section of a used book store and came across the translated teachings of Ancient China.  Compassion, moderation and humility.  This seemed simple enough, but this combined with the teachings of reformed Christianity seemed a welcome route to Chloe.  What was so wrong with combining different aspects of religion?  Who said one faith was one hundred percent right and the other one hundred percent wrong?  Who were men to judge other men for deeds that they consider wrong?  Was is it right for the Inquisitors to butcher people around the world all in the name of Jesus?  Was is right for the Muslims to slaughter one another in name of their god?  And wasn’t it all in the name of the same god anyway?  Was any of it actually right?  Were the Pagans so wrong to worship the Earth Goddess?  Were the Egyptians damned for worshiping Ra, Isis or Osiris?  Was it any more or less absurd to pray to a cross than to a tree?  What if they were all pieces of the same puzzle?  The more she thought about these questions, the more uncertain she became.  She had found herself at a crossroads a year ago and hadn’t quite left.  She decided after months of reading and mind numbing conversations with various religious leaders- in the end she decided that each person had a little divinity in them and each faith had a portion of the truth.  Jessica had offered her no real advice or opinion, but she had listened to her.  Chloe now became a world believer, she believed in the everyday magic that made each day more interesting.  She took comfort in believing that amber was a protective element.  She took consolation in believing that herbs had special properties and could keep away evil spirits.  Around the time Chloe was beginning her exodus down the religious rabbit hole of ambiguity Jessica was climbing out. 

             Jessica had begun to believe in nothing.  Like Chloe she felt abandoned by a faith that she had been devoted to for years.  However, unlike Chloe her cynicism grew and manifested into a safe cocoon which kept her safe from disillusionment and pain.  Chloe stole a glance at her friend; her dark hair fell around her tanned face which was supported by her toned arms.  Chloe always felt a little odd having a friend as beautiful as Jessica; theirs was a friendship based on the fact that they grew up together and for a time they felt stuck together.  Yet now, Chloe felt a genuine affection for her friend, an affection she hadn’t known or felt for years.  Chloe knew that Jessica was irritated by the fact that she embraced the more mystical side of life, and she worried that Jessica’s bitterness would turn her into the old woman that all women feared to be when they reached age 40.  The fact that Jessica had suggested such an idea involving any kind of religious rite still stumped Chloe.  Chloe blinked to bring her thoughts back to the moment.

            She felt lighter now that she had told her story to a complete stranger.  Pastor Jeff remained quiet and thoughtful.  After another long pause he sipped his coffee and cleared his throat. 

“Well now, I appreciate your honesty and sincerity.  To be frank, I’ve heard a story like yours time and time again.  Not about the entity of course, but about feeling lost and alone.  I’ve been there myself.  But we need to sort out one problem at a time.  When was the last time you prayed?”

“Oh these days, I pray about every other hour, it hasn’t helped much,” Chloe answered as she stirred in some sugar.

“I don’t mean begging and asking for help.  I mean, when was the last time you tried to really talk to God?”  His question was pointed, yet earnest.  Chloe heard Jessica readjust herself in her seat, but she didn’t look at her.  For a moment, she wished that Jessica wasn’t there; she suddenly wished that she were alone so she could truly speak openly and freely. 

“Um, I guess that’s a good question, I don’t know…”

“That’s the problem with today’s society.  People think that prayer is used for asking for help.  And it is, but that’s not always the case.  Imagine calling your mom only when you needed help- and never asking her how she’s doing or how’s she’s feeling.  Don’t you think she’d start getting tired of answering your calls all the time?  Don’t you think God works in the same way?  I don’t mean to turn this into a lecture, I can tell by your face that you’re going to start apologizing even though I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” He spoke to the pair as though he’d given this speech a thousand times before.  And perhaps he had.