after church

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful here, but are you saying that since Chloe hasn’t prayed right she deserves all the crap that’s happening to her?  What kind of creature do you worship anyway?” Jessica finally asked.  She hadn’t touched her coffee; Chloe wondered how long she had sat there and stewed about that question.  The pastor sighed again and took a long drink from his cup.  He winked at Chloe and slowly stood up. 

“You my dear are ungrateful yet your cynicism doesn’t fool me.  That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m going to try and help your friend.  Why don’t you let me have a few moments alone with her and then you two can be on your way.  Plus, I have to be meeting my wife soon,” he smoothly opened the door and waited for her to stand.  She glanced at Chloe and Chloe gave her a small nod and she left.                  

              Chloe agreed to meet the pastor later in the week.  She half expected Jessica to be standing too near the door with a surprised look on her face; but instead she was found her gazing out the window with an unreadable expression on her face.  As they stepped outside Chloe shot a glance down the hall to see if Brett had waited for them out of sheer curiosity, but he was gone.  Chloe sighed and tried to swallow her disappointment.  Jessica reached for her arm and assured her that it was his loss for not sticking around. 

“That was a polite way of kicking me out, what did you two talk about?” Jessica asked.  Chloe shrugged and remained silent.  A mixture of emotions tugged at her demanding attention.  She shook her head and hugged herself as they walked into the icy wind. 

            Chloe and Jessica sat in silence.  Chloe’s head ached as she tried to massage her right temple.  She replayed the morning in her head over and over again.  She couldn’t stop thinking about Brett.  She stopped for a moment and studied the church that they had just come from.  The clean, brisk lines reminded her of an office building, yet the manicured lawn, even though it was now covered in frost seemed to be welcoming.  Chloe couldn’t shake the bitterness and anger gnawing at her.  She glanced at Jessica with her perfect body and seemingly perfect life and wondered once again how it was possible that they were friends.  Jessica finally broke the silence as she opened the car door, “dude, I didn’t mean to swoop in on your territory, that guy seemed to be into you.”  Chloe blinked and sat up.

“What?”

“You know, Mr. I-live-at-the-gym,” Jessica smiled as she turned on the radio.  Chloe joined her smile, “I was actually calling him Mr. Perfect Big Brother.”  Chloe continued to massage her head as they listened to the nonsensical ads attacking the sound waves. 

     

             Chloe staggered through her front door.  The fresh scent of fabric softener and Lysol greeted her, as did an increase in pressure and decrease in temperature.  She sighed and swallowed the three pills that Jessica threw at her.  I am officially trendy because I’m taking Xanax…she thought as she pulled off her shoes and made her way to her bedroom.  After being locked in her room, she decided to leave all the doors unlocked and to keep her bedroom door ajar.  She did live by herself after all, why lock and close all the doors?  She didn’t have to hear the growl to know that she wasn’t alone. 

“Listen you!  You’re going to have to leave sooner or later, there’s a priest that’s going to come and exorcise your sorry butt!” She called into the air.  She wasn’t expecting a response, but it would have been nice to break the icy silence.  She thought about calling her mother, but decided against it.  What would she say anyway?  She needed a break from Jessica, and there was no way she wanted to talk to her colleagues.  She decided to call a different friend, Sam. 

“Hey girl, where the hell have you been?”  He asked her with a friendly voice.  Chloe smiled.  Sam was her only guy friend that she had had a crush on for year; naturally he never knew about it and looked upon Chloe as a sister.

“Oh you know, fighting the forces of evil and curing cancer.” She replied as she poured herself some juice and tried to decide if she wanted to spike it or not.

“Cancer huh?  Good luck.  What ya doin’ tonight?” 

“Well, aside from curing cancer, nothing.  Umm….I haven’t seen you in a while, did you want to get together?”

“Sure!  I’ll be free in about two hours, why don’t you come over.  Or do you want me come over there?” He asked.  Chloe quickly weighed her options and accepted his offer. 

“Why don’t I just come there.  What are we drinking?”

“You pick.  No wine though.  See ya soon.”  Chloe smiled as she hung up.  It’ll be good to get out of here for a while.  Ha!  Hear that ghost?  I’m going to go have some fun!  She turned on her computer and clicked waited for the music to begin.  She began walking to her bathroom, then stopped when she heard the song.  The familiar bell tones and guitar introduction rang in her ears and she shivered as she heard the growl.  “Uh, no thanks AC/DC, I’m not in the mood.” She spoke aloud and hit the button to change songs.  This time Night on Bald Mountain boomed out of the speakers.  She frowned.  Since when do I have that song?  She decided to really look at her computer screen and examine her playlist.  She didn’t see the song that was currently playing.  She sighed and clicked on her dance folder and recognized the familiar artists.  She double clicked on Jennifer Lopez and sighed with relief when the music began to play.  Relax Chloe, it was probably just a…whatever.  Time to put on some real clothes.  She decided that spiking her drink was suddenly a good idea and tried to ignore the warning bell blaring in her head.  She walked back to her bedroom and began to sort through her clothes. 

            She was beginning to relax as she took off her shirt and plugged in the iron.  Another song began as she walked into the bathroom and plugged in her curling iron.  She parted her hair and put the rest of it in a loose French twist.  She examined herself in the mirror and noticed that she had lost some weight.  Hmmm…being scared and not sleeping is a great diet.  She took a long drink from her glass and welcomed the warming sensation that came with it.  She was singing at the top of her lungs when she suddenly stopped.  Chlooeeee.  A voice.  Or more like a whisper.  She spun around, knowing that she wouldn’t find anything.  The music changed again.  Another death metal began to play.  Another cold shiver ran up and down Chloe’s spine.  Okay, I know for a fact that I didn’t download that song.  I don’t even know who they are.  Deep breath.  Just keep breathing…deciding that it would useless to call out and knowing that she wouldn’t find anyone in her apartment, she continued to curl her hair and listen to the less than pleasant music.  “Great, a ghost with bad taste in music.  You know, music about sex and drinking is much more fun to listen you.” She said. 

           

She arrived at Sam’s about thirty minutes early.  Trying not to look pathetic she stopped at a liquor store to restock her supple and offer something to Sam.  She wandered up and down the aisles admiring the bottles and decided what she wanted to buy.  She noticed a woman wearing too much make-up talking too loudly with the sales guy.

“Oh, I don’t know honey, what do you think is better?”

“Uh, I don’t know ma ’me.  What are you cooking again?” 

“Oh, just the usual grilled fish and vegetables.”

“Well, dry whites are usually the best way to go.  Unless you’re making a heavier sauce then maybe a red.”  Chloe sighed and tried to ignore them.  She found a brand of vodka that she had never heard of and decided that it was pretty enough to buy.  Then she picked a six pack of Sam’s favorite malt beverage and then decided that she needed another set of hands so she could pick up another bottle for herself.  She politely excused herself as she placed the products on the counter.  The sales guy nodded at her as she resumed her hunt.  She was trying to make a careful decision between whiskey and bourbon when she felt someone watching her.  She glanced up to see the see the sales guy watching her.

“You need any help there?”

“Nah, just trying to decide which would be better to drown out the voices in my head.”

“Oh, then you want whiskey.  But not Jack or Jim, go for the Irish stuff.”  He called as he left the counter and walked toward her. 

“Oh, thanks!  Good call.  Plus, I don’t think I can drink Jack.  We got into a fight when I was 22 and just never recovered.”  He laughed and offered to carry her newest bottle to the counter. 

            Sam greeted her with a kiss on the cheek as he helped her with various bottles. 

“Whoa Chlo, it’s only Sunday.  Not that I don’t mind, but I don’t think I can drink all this tonight.”

“Don’t be a wimp.  Plus, of course we aren’t going to drink it all tonight, I have to work tomorrow.”  She watched him unpack the plastic bad and sat on leather sofa. 

“So, Chlo, what’ new with you?  Haven’t heard or seen much of you in a month or so.” Sam said as he popped open two bottles and poured two shots.  Chloe examined her surroundings again, it really had been some time she had seen Sam.  Still, the worn table was the same, the faded posters of unknown rock bands and other necessary bachelor decorations.  Could she tell him about the insanity of her life?  Would he even care?  Better still, would he even believe her?

“Earth to Chloe, you okay?” he asked again, his hazel eyes studying her.  She blinked and smiled as she took a long drink from the bottle.  The familiar hops and barley mix slowly made their way down her throat. 

“I think I’ve been drinking a lot lately, sorry, just kinda zoned out for a minute there.”  He studied her for a minute then decided to ignore the question that was on the tip of his tongue.  They spent the rest of the evening playing X-box and reliving drunken bar scenes.