Cat vs Shadow

“So, Chloe, tell me, are you okay?  You seem…distracted…” Sam said as he watched Chloe slowly pull the label off the bottle in her hands. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Jess and I have been spending too much time together and I went to church today…” she started to explain.  She didn’t meet his eyes because she was afraid that she would start crying again.  Even though she wasn’t home she couldn’t help but feel isolated from the person she was sitting next to.  The idea of opening up to Sam seemed welcoming and horrifying at the same time.  She didn’t think she had the energy to rehash her situation twice in one day.  Telling the minister had been challenging enough, and she still wasn’t sure that he even believed her.  It took Jessica actually encountering the ghost thing to believe her, and even then Jessica had made Chloe feel guilty about it.  How would Sam react?  Would he laugh at her or believe her?  If he did believe her, then what?  What could he do about it?  She knew that she was being rude, so she gave a big smile and met his beautiful eyes and lied; ‘yeah, I’m fine, like I said.  I should probably get going.  I didn’t mean to go off about Jess and church,” she over explained as she stood up.  Sam sat and stared at her.  In all the years he had known her, she had never lied to him and he didn’t know how to feel about it.  He was upset about it, but didn’t know how to address it.

“It’s cool, if you want to talk, you know you can talk to me, right?”  She nodded and gave him a quick hug and left. 

They were greeted by the overpowering scent of frankincense and lavender.  An older woman with flowing silver hair and a loose fitting tie-dye dress greeted them.  Jessica waved and Chloe headed towards the book section.  Chloe discovered the source of the assaulting scent, a smoldering pile of incense.  Curious about the other scents, Chloe picked up a box called Lilac and another called A Midsummers Night Dream, “ick, that smells like a burnt tire,” she mumbled to herself.  She exhaled loudly and took a step backwards, backing right into a very large man.  She gasped and spat out a quick apology.  He winked at her and said that there was nothing to be sorry about.

“Can I help you?” He asked.  Chloe blinked the incense smoke out of her eyes and took a closer look at the man.  He was very tall, remarkably tall for his age, which she guessed to be in his mid-50’s.  Like the woman who greeted them, he was also wearing a tie-dye shirt, which barely covered his expansive chest and mid-stomach.  He had wild silver hair, and an impressive beard that would make Santa jealous.  His eyes were what Chloe’s attention, they were strangely gentle.  They reminded her of her grandfather. 

“Girl, you going to stand there staring at me?” His voice boomed at her and made her take a step back, causing her to run into a large spice rack.

“I- I’m sorry, I was uh, nevermind.  I need a book, a cheap book on evil spirits.  Or spells or something.” She stammered.

“What’s yer pleasure, Wicca for beginners?  Wicca for Idiots?  The New Age Goddess and You?”

“I have no idea.  I have a ghost or something at my house, and it’s making me crazy.” Chloe said, glancing around looking for Jessica.  She spotted her looking at charms and flirting with a man with a nose ring. 

“A ghost?  Did you try a smudge stick?” He offered, his eyes narrowing a little.

“Yes, and it didn’t work.  I tried a crucifix…and that didn’t work.  I mean, it kinda did, I got a couple of hours sleep but then it disappeared.”  The memory of the missing cross and the conversation with the priest came rushing back to her.  She couldn’t help but feel resentment and anger about the conversation.

“What do you mean it disappeared?  You pullin’ my leg or something?”  He was strangely curious about this girl.  She looked tired, pretty but tired.  He felt compelled to help her, but he didn’t know why.

“I mean it just disappeared.  I tried to get a priest to help me, but all he gave me was a $2 cross and told me to pray.  He didn’t even give me a bible.” She complained, she could feel the tears gathering in her eyes.  Great, I’m going to start crying and this guy is really going to think I’m crazy.

“Are you a believer?”  He asked, adjusting his weight. 

“I don’t know.  I have been thinking about it a lot though lately.  I believe a lot of things, and recently I’ve begun believing in a lot more.” 

            Jessica saw Chloe talking to a large man in a tacky colored shirt.  Pocketing the phone number from the man who had just left, she strolled over to the pair.  Chloe nodded at her.  Jessica shook her head.  Ever since childhood, Chloe believed everything people told her.  Every legend, every myth, and every story.  It was a miracle that she was able to walk down the sidewalks without dancing around the cracks.  Jessica looked at her surroundings, crystals were strung from the ceiling; walls were covered in small glass bottles containing various plants and roots, Jessica entertained the notion that the bottles were filled with dirt.  That guy was probably telling Chloe that she needed magical dirt to make the ghost go away.  I can’t believe I brought her here.  Dumb.  Dumb idea.  I better go save her.  

“Hi Jess, I’ve just been telling my new friend here my little problem.  He thinks he can help.”

“Oh really?  Why’s that?” Jessica didn’t even try to hide the disdain in her voice.

“Yeah, you’re friend here was telling me that she thinks she has a ghost.  You should get a cat.  Cats can sense spirits.”

“A cat?  That’s your solution?  A freaking cat.  Wow, why didn’t we think about that?”

“You’re friend here doesn’t seem to like this idea.  But nevermind that…”

“Listen, I don’t to sound too- uh- pathetic…but do you have like a loaner cat?” Chloe asked.  She felt Jessica’s eyes boring into her.  She knew what her friend was thinking, she could already hear the sarcasm in her head.  She refused to acknowledge her and stared into the vortex of color ahead of her. 

“A loaner cat?  You can’t be serious,” he sighed and glanced behind him.  The woman with the flowing dress and hair approached the small group.

“What’s this I hear about loanin’ out cats?  Zig, what craziness you talkin’ about over there?” He waved at her as she joined them.

“This here girl’s got an annoyed spirit in her house.  Been keepin’ her up at night.”  The man known as Ziggy told her. 

“A spirit?  Are you sure?  You know anyone who died recently?” She asked.  Jessica rolled her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. 

“Okay everyone, listen!  Yes, she has a ghost thing at her house.  Yes, it’s real.  We’ve tried burning sage, we’ve talked to a priest, got a crucifix and now we’re here.  Do you have any magic potions or cool looking symbols that could help us?  And by us I mean Chloe here.”  Jessica demanded glaring at the rainbow pair.

“Thanks, I don’t think the people across the street heard us.” Chloe snapped as she glared at her friend.  Jessica shrugged as she pretended to be interested in a book about herbs.   

“Fine.  If you really want our help, do as we say.” The big guy in the juvenile shirt ordered.

            It was a long ride home.  Jessica thought the non-stop howling from angry cat would make her reconsider her lifelong friendship with Chloe.  Chloe couldn’t stop laughing about the non-stop strangeness of the week. 

“Seriously, Chlo, this is beyond ridiculous.  A cat?” Jessica fumed.

“Oh come on, it’s not that crazy.  It’s no crazier than burning sage or consulting a priest.”  Chloe said. 

“Whatever.  Do you have a cat litter box?  Food?” Jessica asked. 

“No and no.  Let’s make a pit stop at a pet store.”  Chloe said, cringing at the impeding money coming out of her account.   

Once Chloe and the cat, otherwise known as Ninja, were home, she felt a little more relaxed.  She watched him devour the can of tuna she had bought him for dinner; while she prepared a sandwich for her own dinner.  She folded her knees into her chest and curled up on the couch.  She turned on the television and welcomed the sound of commercials advertising frozen pizza and anti-depression medication.  She watched Ninja explore his new surroundings and called him to her.  Not normally a cat person, Chloe welcomed the company and was even more pleased when he jumped into her lap. He was an older calico cat with large, intense, green eyes.  He purred as she petted his head and behind his ears.  The sun was setting and she took a deep breath.  “Good kitty.  Good Ninja.  You’re going to keep out the scary things aren’t you?” she cooed laughing to herself.  She had to admit, she did feel more comfortable.  Deciding to sleep out on the couch for a change of scenery; she washed her face and brushed her teeth.  She went into her room and grabbed a pillow and blanket and returned to the living room. 

Ninja was staring out the window when she returned.  His tail was flicking back and forth, his ears dropping closer to his head.  She walked over to him and peered out the window as well.  She saw nothing to cause him such alarm, but then again she never saw anything that had caused alarm for the past several months.  She patted his head and picked him up and brought him with her to the couch.  He was felt as though he had gained ten pounds, she could feel every muscle in his body.  “Shhh…its okay hon.  It’s okay, shh…please let it be okay…” she cooed again.  She couldn’t quite sense her unwanted house guest, but she knew that it was close.  The irritated cat was like an alarm system.  Not hearing the growling, she sighed and made herself comfortable.  She left the hall light on; with the cat and light she felt armed and ready to take on the evening.  She muted the television wondered why on earth she was actually listening for the sound which made her skin crawl.  She kept Ninja pinned to her chest, acting as a shield.  The silence was deafening.  She felt Ninja’s eyes studying the night around her.  She exhaled loudly, inhale, exhale, deep breath, that’s it.  It’s going to be okay.  I have a cat, I have a cross somewhere.  Inhale, exhale…she chanted to herself.  She could feel Ninja’s claws through her night shirt.  She closed her eyes and continued her mantra.  Despite the heaviness around her she felt herself relax and drift into sleep. 

Her slumber was disrupted a couple of hours later with a series of growls and hisses invaded their way into her dreams.  She opened her heavy eyes and looked around.   Ninja was no longer in her embrace. She squinted and saw him standing on her kitchen table.  She became instantly dismayed and she wanted to scold him, but then stopped.  It was not his growl that she heard.  She was becoming more familiar with the growl which had made its daily appearance; and the sensation that came with it.  Ninja on the other hand was not as familiar with it and was not amused.  She sat up and tried to call to him, but her voice was caught in her throat.  Ninja’s back arched and he let out a howl so high that she was sure all the dogs in the building would wake up.  Not a good sign at all…then he meowed and swiped at the air.  It was then that Chloe saw the shadow.  A shadow with no form, yet is had a form.  She had only seen it once before, but this time it seemed to have more substance to it.  Perhaps this is what the cat had seen; perhaps Ninja was just trying to protect her.  I’m going to need more than a cat to help me.  What was I thinking?  This is insane.  Completely insane.  Dear God, or Jesus- someone, please help me…Ninja swiped again and jumped down from the table and ran back to Chloe.  Not knowing what to do she reached out and grabbed him.  A new sound seemed to come from the shadow, a low hiss.  A sticky dampness seemed to come from the black mass on the floor.  The smell reminded Chloe of swamp water with a hint of burning rubber.  Ninja became even angrier.  He growled and struck out at the air again.  Chloe loosened her grip on him for fear of being scratched herself. She listened to the growling conversation between the cat and the shadow.  Only me, this would only happen to me.  I wonder what they’re saying to each other.  “Back of bitch, this is my turf” the Shadow would say.

“Who you calling bitch, whore!” Ninja would say.                                     

“You watch that tone, you four legged furry cretin.”

“You’re just jealous because I’m a lovable cat and you’re just a shadow.”  Chloe’s attention was demanded when she saw the shadow move.  Ninja leaped from her arms and tried to attack the shadow.  She was relieved when the shadow didn’t move, but that didn’t ease the tension in the apartment.  She could feel her blood pumping through her veins as she tried to study the shadow.  The hall light still shone on it, but it didn’t reflect any light.  Every nerve in her body was on fire as she crept a little closer to the foreign object in the middle of the floor.  Ninja continued to bat at the air, yet the shadow didn’t move.  Was she really expecting the shadow to move?  Where had it come from?  Her fear was at an unprecedented level and she could no longer think, she could no longer hear any other sound than unearthly growling.  She felt a different set of eyes on her; she felt certain that they were examining her very bones.  She saw the shadow parley away from Ninja and move in a way that could only be seen as aggressive.  Forcing herself off the floor Chloe lunged towards Ninja and somersaulted her way into the kitchen table.  She felt the soft body of the still hissing Ninja beneath her and a welt developing on her hip.  Still cradling Ninja she jumped up and turned on another light.  The shadow didn’t move; it actually grew in size and density.  She gasped and felt the hot tears streaming down her face.  She began to shake and embraced Ninja so tightly that he bit her.  She pressed her back against the wall and loosened her grip on her small companion terrified that the shadow would hurt the cat.  Her attention was torn away from the shadow when she heard another low snarl.  Ninja struggled his way out of her arms and jumped back up on the edge of the counter.  That damn cat is braver than I am, come on Chloe, pull yourself together and see what he’s seeing.  Although she didn’t see it with her eyes, she felt as though the shadow was once again moving around and approaching her. 

after church

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful here, but are you saying that since Chloe hasn’t prayed right she deserves all the crap that’s happening to her?  What kind of creature do you worship anyway?” Jessica finally asked.  She hadn’t touched her coffee; Chloe wondered how long she had sat there and stewed about that question.  The pastor sighed again and took a long drink from his cup.  He winked at Chloe and slowly stood up. 

“You my dear are ungrateful yet your cynicism doesn’t fool me.  That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m going to try and help your friend.  Why don’t you let me have a few moments alone with her and then you two can be on your way.  Plus, I have to be meeting my wife soon,” he smoothly opened the door and waited for her to stand.  She glanced at Chloe and Chloe gave her a small nod and she left.                  

              Chloe agreed to meet the pastor later in the week.  She half expected Jessica to be standing too near the door with a surprised look on her face; but instead she was found her gazing out the window with an unreadable expression on her face.  As they stepped outside Chloe shot a glance down the hall to see if Brett had waited for them out of sheer curiosity, but he was gone.  Chloe sighed and tried to swallow her disappointment.  Jessica reached for her arm and assured her that it was his loss for not sticking around. 

“That was a polite way of kicking me out, what did you two talk about?” Jessica asked.  Chloe shrugged and remained silent.  A mixture of emotions tugged at her demanding attention.  She shook her head and hugged herself as they walked into the icy wind. 

            Chloe and Jessica sat in silence.  Chloe’s head ached as she tried to massage her right temple.  She replayed the morning in her head over and over again.  She couldn’t stop thinking about Brett.  She stopped for a moment and studied the church that they had just come from.  The clean, brisk lines reminded her of an office building, yet the manicured lawn, even though it was now covered in frost seemed to be welcoming.  Chloe couldn’t shake the bitterness and anger gnawing at her.  She glanced at Jessica with her perfect body and seemingly perfect life and wondered once again how it was possible that they were friends.  Jessica finally broke the silence as she opened the car door, “dude, I didn’t mean to swoop in on your territory, that guy seemed to be into you.”  Chloe blinked and sat up.

“What?”

“You know, Mr. I-live-at-the-gym,” Jessica smiled as she turned on the radio.  Chloe joined her smile, “I was actually calling him Mr. Perfect Big Brother.”  Chloe continued to massage her head as they listened to the nonsensical ads attacking the sound waves. 

     

             Chloe staggered through her front door.  The fresh scent of fabric softener and Lysol greeted her, as did an increase in pressure and decrease in temperature.  She sighed and swallowed the three pills that Jessica threw at her.  I am officially trendy because I’m taking Xanax…she thought as she pulled off her shoes and made her way to her bedroom.  After being locked in her room, she decided to leave all the doors unlocked and to keep her bedroom door ajar.  She did live by herself after all, why lock and close all the doors?  She didn’t have to hear the growl to know that she wasn’t alone. 

“Listen you!  You’re going to have to leave sooner or later, there’s a priest that’s going to come and exorcise your sorry butt!” She called into the air.  She wasn’t expecting a response, but it would have been nice to break the icy silence.  She thought about calling her mother, but decided against it.  What would she say anyway?  She needed a break from Jessica, and there was no way she wanted to talk to her colleagues.  She decided to call a different friend, Sam. 

“Hey girl, where the hell have you been?”  He asked her with a friendly voice.  Chloe smiled.  Sam was her only guy friend that she had had a crush on for year; naturally he never knew about it and looked upon Chloe as a sister.

“Oh you know, fighting the forces of evil and curing cancer.” She replied as she poured herself some juice and tried to decide if she wanted to spike it or not.

“Cancer huh?  Good luck.  What ya doin’ tonight?” 

“Well, aside from curing cancer, nothing.  Umm….I haven’t seen you in a while, did you want to get together?”

“Sure!  I’ll be free in about two hours, why don’t you come over.  Or do you want me come over there?” He asked.  Chloe quickly weighed her options and accepted his offer. 

“Why don’t I just come there.  What are we drinking?”

“You pick.  No wine though.  See ya soon.”  Chloe smiled as she hung up.  It’ll be good to get out of here for a while.  Ha!  Hear that ghost?  I’m going to go have some fun!  She turned on her computer and clicked waited for the music to begin.  She began walking to her bathroom, then stopped when she heard the song.  The familiar bell tones and guitar introduction rang in her ears and she shivered as she heard the growl.  “Uh, no thanks AC/DC, I’m not in the mood.” She spoke aloud and hit the button to change songs.  This time Night on Bald Mountain boomed out of the speakers.  She frowned.  Since when do I have that song?  She decided to really look at her computer screen and examine her playlist.  She didn’t see the song that was currently playing.  She sighed and clicked on her dance folder and recognized the familiar artists.  She double clicked on Jennifer Lopez and sighed with relief when the music began to play.  Relax Chloe, it was probably just a…whatever.  Time to put on some real clothes.  She decided that spiking her drink was suddenly a good idea and tried to ignore the warning bell blaring in her head.  She walked back to her bedroom and began to sort through her clothes. 

            She was beginning to relax as she took off her shirt and plugged in the iron.  Another song began as she walked into the bathroom and plugged in her curling iron.  She parted her hair and put the rest of it in a loose French twist.  She examined herself in the mirror and noticed that she had lost some weight.  Hmmm…being scared and not sleeping is a great diet.  She took a long drink from her glass and welcomed the warming sensation that came with it.  She was singing at the top of her lungs when she suddenly stopped.  Chlooeeee.  A voice.  Or more like a whisper.  She spun around, knowing that she wouldn’t find anything.  The music changed again.  Another death metal began to play.  Another cold shiver ran up and down Chloe’s spine.  Okay, I know for a fact that I didn’t download that song.  I don’t even know who they are.  Deep breath.  Just keep breathing…deciding that it would useless to call out and knowing that she wouldn’t find anyone in her apartment, she continued to curl her hair and listen to the less than pleasant music.  “Great, a ghost with bad taste in music.  You know, music about sex and drinking is much more fun to listen you.” She said. 

           

She arrived at Sam’s about thirty minutes early.  Trying not to look pathetic she stopped at a liquor store to restock her supple and offer something to Sam.  She wandered up and down the aisles admiring the bottles and decided what she wanted to buy.  She noticed a woman wearing too much make-up talking too loudly with the sales guy.

“Oh, I don’t know honey, what do you think is better?”

“Uh, I don’t know ma ’me.  What are you cooking again?” 

“Oh, just the usual grilled fish and vegetables.”

“Well, dry whites are usually the best way to go.  Unless you’re making a heavier sauce then maybe a red.”  Chloe sighed and tried to ignore them.  She found a brand of vodka that she had never heard of and decided that it was pretty enough to buy.  Then she picked a six pack of Sam’s favorite malt beverage and then decided that she needed another set of hands so she could pick up another bottle for herself.  She politely excused herself as she placed the products on the counter.  The sales guy nodded at her as she resumed her hunt.  She was trying to make a careful decision between whiskey and bourbon when she felt someone watching her.  She glanced up to see the see the sales guy watching her.

“You need any help there?”

“Nah, just trying to decide which would be better to drown out the voices in my head.”

“Oh, then you want whiskey.  But not Jack or Jim, go for the Irish stuff.”  He called as he left the counter and walked toward her. 

“Oh, thanks!  Good call.  Plus, I don’t think I can drink Jack.  We got into a fight when I was 22 and just never recovered.”  He laughed and offered to carry her newest bottle to the counter. 

            Sam greeted her with a kiss on the cheek as he helped her with various bottles. 

“Whoa Chlo, it’s only Sunday.  Not that I don’t mind, but I don’t think I can drink all this tonight.”

“Don’t be a wimp.  Plus, of course we aren’t going to drink it all tonight, I have to work tomorrow.”  She watched him unpack the plastic bad and sat on leather sofa. 

“So, Chlo, what’ new with you?  Haven’t heard or seen much of you in a month or so.” Sam said as he popped open two bottles and poured two shots.  Chloe examined her surroundings again, it really had been some time she had seen Sam.  Still, the worn table was the same, the faded posters of unknown rock bands and other necessary bachelor decorations.  Could she tell him about the insanity of her life?  Would he even care?  Better still, would he even believe her?

“Earth to Chloe, you okay?” he asked again, his hazel eyes studying her.  She blinked and smiled as she took a long drink from the bottle.  The familiar hops and barley mix slowly made their way down her throat. 

“I think I’ve been drinking a lot lately, sorry, just kinda zoned out for a minute there.”  He studied her for a minute then decided to ignore the question that was on the tip of his tongue.  They spent the rest of the evening playing X-box and reliving drunken bar scenes.      

Church Lecture

“Uh, okay, so here’s the thing.  I, uh, think I have a ghost or a demon thing in my apartment.  And, I- uh, don’t know what to do about it.” Chloe stammered.  She tried to hold his eye contact but broke as soon as she reached the word ‘demon’.  Another silence settled over the office.  Jessica stared at the wall. 

“Well, aren’t you going to say something?” Jessica finally asked.  He scratched his head and stood up.

“Well, I think that’s a great story.  And I’m sorry that I allowed myself to give my precious time to ladies who think that church is a game.  Now if you’ll excuse me,” he snapped.  At this Chloe jumped up which startled everyone in the room. 

“No, listen please!  There’s something in my apartment.  It’s…it’s evil I think.  Nah, I’m pretty sure it’s evil.  It’s making me crazy!  I can’t sleep.  The growling, the noise, please, you have to believe me.”   She held his eyes this time as she tried to plead her case.  He glanced at Jessica and saw that she hadn’t moved.  He straightened up again. 

“Look, I’m sure you think that it’s a demon, but you have to realize that demons don’t bother people.  That’s Hollywood.  Now, if you’d like I can give you the number-”

“Wait, just so we’re clear, God exists but demons don’t.  That doesn’t make any sense.  You can’t have one without the other.” Jessica cut in.  She was now glaring at him.  And since when did I start believing about this crap?  He nodded and slowly sat down, she continued, “we’re not crazy.  Not fanatics.  We aren’t cool enough be psychic and see the future.  Chloe has tried the psychic thing and it didn’t work too well.  All we need is some spiritual help.  Chloe is the victim here.  I didn’t believe her at first either, but it’s very real.  And it’s very evil.  So please, can you help her?” Jessica said.  Her voice became flat and serious.  Chloe refused to believe that this man who claimed to be a speaker for a creator could refuse them.  She watched and marveled how Jessica could snap and make demands of people without her voice shaking.  Jessica and the Pastor continued to exchange fearsome looks and violent glances.  He finally sighed and motioned Jessica to relax.  Chloe smiled.  Jessica had won. 

“Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.  What’s your name?” he offered as he stood up and turned on a small coffee pot in the corner of the room. 

“Chloe.  Chloe Summers.  This is Jessica.  So, where do we begin?”  She saw him shrug as he leaned against an overcrowded bookshelf.

“Like I said…nah, never mind…the truth of the matter is, I don’t know.  You know the type of publicity that is always comes with, uh, events like this.”  He said as he waited for the coffee to brew.  Jessica and Chloe exchanged looks; Jessica rolled her eyes and Chloe’s shoulders slumped.  She closed her eyes and massaged her temples, “wait, so you’re telling me you’re not going to help me or even try to help because of the bad PR?”  Her eyes bored into his as she asked the question.

“Listen, if you keep this quiet…then maybe I can come by with a friend and take a look for ourselves.  But I have to know, you’re serious?  I’m going to open the door to and see Ashton Kutcher there am I?”

“No.  Hell no, that’s a dumb show.  Is that even still on?” Jessica said as she crossed and uncrossed her legs.  The three shared an uneasy laugh and he poured some of the coffee.

“What church are you affiliated with?  Why didn’t you go to them?” he asked as he sat back down behind his desk.  Both girls began to play with their purses as he asked the question.

“That’s what I thought.  No wonder you have demons.  A little faith goes a long way you know.  You think you can just pop by a church and pick up a crucifix and that will fix everything?” He lectured.  Chloe sighed again and met his gaze. 

“Yes and no.  I was raised Catholic.  I’ve been baptized and everything.  I used to go to St. Mary’s and to be honest, I don’t know why we didn’t go there first.  But- but I’ve kinda been having a spiritual crisis for a couple years now because I don’t know what to believe.”  She opened up to him about her doubts and questions and what happens when one begins to read too many books. 

                Chloe graduated high school with top grades and felt as though she had the world at her feet, so naturally like millions of other teens with a complex of self-satisfaction and un-earned sense of accomplishment, she went to college.  She wanted to be a doctor.  She wanted to save people, to solve the problems that no one else could.  One of the beauties of the American education system is the ability to choose.  This was the land of opportunity after all- so what was the harm in taking a few classes that would open her mind to other cultures?  Chloe took a class called Christian Traditions and realized to her shock and dismay that the religion that had grown up with wasn’t what she thought it was.  Sunday School had taught her that idol worship was forbidden, and yet in Orthodox Christianity idols were everywhere.  Yet here was an entire branch of Christianity flourishing in the eastern part of the world that she didn’t know anything about.  They had alters and prayed to various saints, just like the Roman Catholic church did, and at the same time they were frowned at.  For most of her young life she had been taught that she would burn in hell’s fire for swearing, for drinking and for not trying to pass along the good word.  Imagine her shock to discover that the Catholic Church had actually taken out chapters of the Bible just because they didn’t have time to finish the final publication.  Her spiral continued when she began researching Buddhism and began to feel comfortable with their beliefs.  The idea of praying to a statue didn’t appeal to her, what appealed to her was the idea that all energy was transferable and peace was found within the person, not a temple or a building. 

The path of Buddhism took her to a pit stop called Wicca and finally landed her back at Agnostic Christianity.  Her curiosity led her further East and further from her roots.  One day she found herself browsing through the spiritual enlightenment section of a used book store and came across the translated teachings of Ancient China.  Compassion, moderation and humility.  This seemed simple enough, but this combined with the teachings of reformed Christianity seemed a welcome route to Chloe.  What was so wrong with combining different aspects of religion?  Who said one faith was one hundred percent right and the other one hundred percent wrong?  Who were men to judge other men for deeds that they consider wrong?  Was is it right for the Inquisitors to butcher people around the world all in the name of Jesus?  Was is right for the Muslims to slaughter one another in name of their god?  And wasn’t it all in the name of the same god anyway?  Was any of it actually right?  Were the Pagans so wrong to worship the Earth Goddess?  Were the Egyptians damned for worshiping Ra, Isis or Osiris?  Was it any more or less absurd to pray to a cross than to a tree?  What if they were all pieces of the same puzzle?  The more she thought about these questions, the more uncertain she became.  She had found herself at a crossroads a year ago and hadn’t quite left.  She decided after months of reading and mind numbing conversations with various religious leaders- in the end she decided that each person had a little divinity in them and each faith had a portion of the truth.  Jessica had offered her no real advice or opinion, but she had listened to her.  Chloe now became a world believer, she believed in the everyday magic that made each day more interesting.  She took comfort in believing that amber was a protective element.  She took consolation in believing that herbs had special properties and could keep away evil spirits.  Around the time Chloe was beginning her exodus down the religious rabbit hole of ambiguity Jessica was climbing out. 

             Jessica had begun to believe in nothing.  Like Chloe she felt abandoned by a faith that she had been devoted to for years.  However, unlike Chloe her cynicism grew and manifested into a safe cocoon which kept her safe from disillusionment and pain.  Chloe stole a glance at her friend; her dark hair fell around her tanned face which was supported by her toned arms.  Chloe always felt a little odd having a friend as beautiful as Jessica; theirs was a friendship based on the fact that they grew up together and for a time they felt stuck together.  Yet now, Chloe felt a genuine affection for her friend, an affection she hadn’t known or felt for years.  Chloe knew that Jessica was irritated by the fact that she embraced the more mystical side of life, and she worried that Jessica’s bitterness would turn her into the old woman that all women feared to be when they reached age 40.  The fact that Jessica had suggested such an idea involving any kind of religious rite still stumped Chloe.  Chloe blinked to bring her thoughts back to the moment.

            She felt lighter now that she had told her story to a complete stranger.  Pastor Jeff remained quiet and thoughtful.  After another long pause he sipped his coffee and cleared his throat. 

“Well now, I appreciate your honesty and sincerity.  To be frank, I’ve heard a story like yours time and time again.  Not about the entity of course, but about feeling lost and alone.  I’ve been there myself.  But we need to sort out one problem at a time.  When was the last time you prayed?”

“Oh these days, I pray about every other hour, it hasn’t helped much,” Chloe answered as she stirred in some sugar.

“I don’t mean begging and asking for help.  I mean, when was the last time you tried to really talk to God?”  His question was pointed, yet earnest.  Chloe heard Jessica readjust herself in her seat, but she didn’t look at her.  For a moment, she wished that Jessica wasn’t there; she suddenly wished that she were alone so she could truly speak openly and freely. 

“Um, I guess that’s a good question, I don’t know…”

“That’s the problem with today’s society.  People think that prayer is used for asking for help.  And it is, but that’s not always the case.  Imagine calling your mom only when you needed help- and never asking her how she’s doing or how’s she’s feeling.  Don’t you think she’d start getting tired of answering your calls all the time?  Don’t you think God works in the same way?  I don’t mean to turn this into a lecture, I can tell by your face that you’re going to start apologizing even though I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” He spoke to the pair as though he’d given this speech a thousand times before.  And perhaps he had.